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Later that day I called her and she invited me over for dinner the next day.She lived at five minute walk distance from uncles house and I lied to him...I was going to my friends house and went to her place ( expecting to stay for the night). We had an amazing dinner a bottle of wine. We went along well. Normally chicks got attracted to my perfect body and dark curly hair. She told me that she had an Indian bf and he was in India so she decided to hook up for a 1 night stand with a male escort. I was just glad that she rebounded to me, rather than another woman. What I hadn't thought anything of was the dynamics of her previous relationship. I only realized after learning up-close and personal about her strap on harness and assortment of dildos that Cindy was, when she chose to be, a top. She liked to dominate. In the early months of our relationship we had totally convention but also totally hot sex. I tended to take the lead, even if I wasn't always literally on top. That changed. I kind of envied her popularity since I was deathly afraid of girls in a romantic nature. My lack of girl involvement resulted in me taking out my frustrations manually. Most of the time, I would close my eyes and imagine that it was her hand pleasuring me.Not much changed for me over the years until I turned 15 and Tracy encouraged me to talk to a girl (Susie) at one of the squad's pool parties. I think that's what really broke the ice for me so to speak so that I could confidently talk with. Over time it developed from self-bondage and dreaming of being ****d by older girls since I did not have any girls interested in me when I was young, to wanting to tie girls up and control them. Now I’m not into violent assault it’s more like the damsel in distress themes. Probably an easy way to describe it in two words is “sensual assault”. Why do I need to control women, I’m not a 100% sure why, I love women, I actually think they’re better human beings than men are. Maybe I have felt like.
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